The leftovers scroll by

At this point in early September, the curtains drawn late at night, succumbing to my hockey withdrawal to watch a Whalers-Bruins playoff series from the 1980s (man I miss the Whale), the NHL Network's "bottom line" provides a moment of levity with its team-by-team list of what it calls NHL "unsigned free agents."

With the exception of Mats Sundin, who doesn't seem to know which shirt he'll wear in the morning, and Teemu Selanne, who is waiting for the Ducks to screw yet another teammate -- er, I mean clear cap room -- to re-sign him, the scrolling list is a collection of down-on-their luck vets being pushed out by the wonderful cost certainty of youth. After tasting the good millions, suddenly to stay in the NHL, these vets must accept the pride dent of a training camp tryout and "only" six figures.

Former Islanders are well-represented in this scene. Sean Hill is there, even though he's signed with a team in Switzerland. Bryan Berard is no longer there, thanks to his Flyers invite. I know you're sorry to hear Brad Isbister is no longer there, having inked a two-way deal (ouch) with Ottawa. And Mark Parrish is there, having been bought out by his home state Wild from the silly deal that took him off the Island. I've wondered but didn't see Josef Vasicek listed -- maybe because he's signed on with the KHL's Lokomotiv, where he'll join a certain former Islanders captain who's still on our payroll.

These old vets are victims of the CBA, true, but also of something else: As the game of hockey's popularity and accessibility (for players) has increased, the pool of talented players has grown by far more than the number of jobs made available through NHL expansion. So for an NHL club, it is a fair bet to believe one of its many prospects can emerge to do a decent third- or fourth-line job for far cheaper than the veteran UFA looking for one final payday.

This is why I do not fear the KHL or European remigration: Thus far, they're mostly feeding on the "extra parts" pile of NHL veterans, which can be filled by the many kids who grow up dreaming of a chance at the Cup. And until North America's talented youth grow up dreaming of slipping on an ad-laden Bili Tygri Liberec jersey we're gonna be OK.

If that sounds a tad dismissive, it's not meant to be. It's a wonderful thing that NHL vets like Martin Straka, Martin Rucinsky, or Andrei Zyuzin can return home (or closer to home) to finish out their careers and reward their old fans. (Besides, if you're not an elite player, isn't it great that you no longer have to be a continent away from your family/roots just for the money?) Likewise, it's great that a guy like Wade Dubielewicz can see the world and make money playing hockey.

It's a win-win to me. So good luck to all the former NHLers exploring or returning to Europe. And good luck to all of the spry youngsters who get the chance to take their place.

What is Tampa Bay doing?

As the down time before training camp drags on, we turn our thoughts to other teams, any teams...

Have you asked yourself this offseason what, pray tell, the Tampa Bay Lightning are doing? I sure have. Forget for a moment the scent of irregularity that surrounds their new ownership group. And forget about hiring the coach who's been doing TV for the past decade-plus.

I'm thinking about their philosophy for building their team. Defense seems to have been forgotten; goaltending is an unproven gamble; money is stashed in some interesting areas. As I recall, offense was not why they finished 30th overall last year, yet they spent the summer throwing around money and term (seven years to Ryan Malone?!) around at forwards and ... offensive defensemen.

Honestly, if the Lightning do well, I think it's good for the league. It's a good market that shows up for its team, and Barry Melrose is a character who even casual, SportsCenter-watching Americans know. If he comes off looking good, feeling cocky, dropping silly or blunt quotes, it would be the kind of attention the league needs south of the border. Plus, any team that excels on the basis of offense-first will be a marketer/televiser's dream.

But I'm not sold on The Plan, such as it is.

Admittedly, when it comes to team-building, I'd trend toward the conservative, asset-accumulation model. I'd stockpile my younger assets (check) and be wary of the free-agent route to instant gratification. I'd be frightened by the exchange rate-aided rise in the salary cap (i.e. NHL revenues) and would choose very carefully before committing 2008-cap-level cash on several future years of: a) a power forward (Malone) who took a long time to peak and is likely to decline by the second half of his deal; b) a young offensive defenseman whose defense, reportedly, leaves much to be desired when not paired with Zdeno the Giant.

Not to mention shafting defensive leader Dan Boyle and replacing him with the hardly equivalent Matt Carle, plus the gratuitous addition of Gary Roberts, who appeared last season -- particularly in the playoffs -- to be running on Angry Veteran Fumes.

It's not just that Andrei Mezsaros is a somewhat questionable (if consistent) commodity; it's that the Lightning don't appear to have the kind of partner -- like Chara -- who can bring out his max value. It's not that Mezsaros is now overpaid for his potential contribution, it's that the Lightning handed him max value when he was still in his cost-conrolled, RFA years. I understand that is arguably the trend these days -- but it should only be a tactic for hanging on to your can't-lose assets (Vincent Lacavalier, Alex Ovechkin, etc.). If you're tossing away your leverage for third-year non-star RFAs, what category of player (who matters) will you ever have contract leverage over?

In goal -- and I cannot believe how any contender wannabe would scrimp on this position (yet there, too, are the Sens) -- the Lightning have Olaf Kolzig, whose career has become a Greek tragedy: all those great years loyally wasted on a subpar team, and now that the Caps are good, last season he could no longer carry them. More importantly they have Mike Smith, who is a defensible gamble -- but unproven! And should Smith falter, they have to rely on Kolzig, because they don't have the cap room to acquire someone like Nikolai Khabibulin. And of course, it was the abject neglect of this position, letting the Bulin Wall walk, that originally spiraled them from Cup winners into last season's mess.

Naturally, I may be wrong (Their season will be entertaining either way). Maybe Smith is the real deal, Mazseros just needs a stable partner, Malone continues to grow, Carle rises to a new level, and Melrose defies the critics who think he is not prepared to coach the 21st-century game. In a way, I kind of hope I am wrong.

But if I were a Lightning fan, I wouldn't bank on it.

Parrish the thought

I love* it when agents pimp their players to the press: "No really, there's interest in my guy! Tell the fans! Spread the buzz!"

*may be sarcastic

But it's particularly amusing when an agent ties the future of his average player to the future of a superstar. Don't get me wrong: The way Vancouver sees its cap situation, it very well may not sign Mark Parrish until they know Mats Sundin wants no part of them. But the implication that Parrish is a "Plan B" for Sundin's "Plan A" is laughable hyperbole. (Granted, these are not the agent's direct words, but all agents are guilty of false innuendo until proven innocent.)

The way the NHL circle of illogic works, Brendan Shanahan's future is also tied to Sundin's. (In this latter instance, it's not the agent but rather Blues GM John Davidson who's taking advantage of a little free agent uncertainty to milk fan nostalgia).

Now, the Canucks need offense from somewhere, and they've found the pickings slim this summer, so they may indeed bid on Parrish. But not by preference. It's like when the Mrs. sends me to a big box home store with a $10 off coupon. By God, there's nothing there I need or want -- certainly not a nice copy of NHL 2K9 -- but I'm too cheap not to use the coupon for something. So I come home with a throwaway pillow for the dog. Sundin is that piece of electronics you can't buy here; Parrish is the dog pillow.

Disturbingly, the agent (or perhaps the reporter from a different *cough* "source") also implies the Islanders have "inquired" about Parrish. Using my AgentSpeak-to-Truth(TM) conversion table, "inquired" is the least significant of verbs in the agent's rumor-mongering arsenal. Where "pursuing" means a team has made an offer and "interested" means they've discussed general money and term, "inquired" means they've talked and asked, "Is he desperate enough to take the league minimum? We'll even send a taxi."

So, though it's against their youth movement and a laughable suggestion, I suppose the Islanders may have asked about Parrish, reasoning that he would be easy insurance if he came cheap (not impossible, considering he will still be paid handsomely by the Wild).

But it doesn't make sense for our youth movement to sign him to real dollars, and he won't sign for a paltry sum (not with the Canucks throwing money around), so it's not gonna happen.

Nor do I want it to. I liked Parrish, he did good things as an Islander, it was too bad he had to leave the first time. But we knew in 2007 that he wasn't going to be worth what he would get from his home-state Wild, and now the Wild know that, too, having bought him out.

Plus, seeing him as an underachieving Islander in the sunset of his career would only remind of bad things, like the Mad Mike asset mismanagement move that first brought him here. Not Parrish's fault that he was acquired with a stiff for two guys who got much, much better after they left the Island. But still. Until my therapist works me through these issues, I cannot welcome him back. Like the hilarious Gnarls Barkley relationship breakup video, it shouldn't work this way, but it does.

So I'm sorry, Mark. Good luck in Vancouver.